An Age-Proof Beauty Secret

by Christa Hines on September 18, 2015

It's what we believe about ourselves thatThere’s no question that our culture values a certain kind of beauty often based on whomever is gracing the cover of the latest fashion magazines.

Next time you pick up your favorite magazine, take a closer look at the cover, past the clothes, makeup and photoshopped body. Notice the power postures – hands on hips, body taking up space, arms out or calmly in a lap. Eyes looking out warmly toward the reader. Their body language practically shouts, “I’m in charge!” 

We’re attracted to the confident, empowered look. Have you ever noticed how some people, who may not be considered beautiful or handsome in the traditional sense, are attractive simply because they exude warmth, friendliness and confidence.

Self-confidence is truly an attractive, ageless trait, but it can be fleeting and tempered depending on how we feel in any given situation. So how do we gain more confidence, especially in the areas where we feel most insecure?

What self-confidence looks like. Unlike arrogance or narcissism, people who are self-assured show interest in the world around them, but are unlikely to compromise their values to go with the crowd. They trust themselves.

People who are confident stand up straight. They look others in the eye. They are comfortable with their outlook on life without feeling the need to bully others into their way of looking at the world.

They are strong enough to admit when they are wrong. When confident individuals make a mistake, they own it and apologize or seek ways to make amends.

Self-confident individuals speak decisively rather than making statements that sound like questions with the tell-tale upward lilt at the end of the sentence. For example, “I liked that movie. It was different, but I thought it made some interesting points.” versus “I kind of liked that movie? It sort of made some interesting points? Don’t you think?”

Whether you are facing a difficult parenting situation or heading into a networking event, self-confidence can wax and wane.

Beginning next week, I will begin posting helpful, proactive tips each month that we can all use to boost our self-confidence. I plan to include advice that I gather through my research, as well as tips from communication experts, authors, coaches and whoever else has great advice for boosting confidence every day.

Whether you’ve recently experienced a major life transition, such as relocation or a divorce; you’re looking for a new job; or wondering how to nurture more confidence in your kids as they begin facing increasingly serious small decisions (that can have big consequences), you won’t want to miss these tips.

The truth is when we have faith in ourselves, we’re more likely to feel empowered in our lives and more deliberate in how we connect with others.

Tell me what areas of your life that you struggle with confidence.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Sue LeBreton September 18, 2015 at 4:11 pm

Great reminders. The Superwoman pose is huge. I have read about going into the bathroom and taking that pose before a meeting etc to channel that power. I will remember these on my next job interview.

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CMHines4 September 18, 2015 at 4:40 pm

Yes, the super woman pose is a good one, Sue. I also like doing a yoga warrior pose if I’m needing a confidence boost.

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